Sunday, December 26, 2004      10:29 p.m.



::Music:: Gackt - 12gatsu no Love Song (remix)

Merry Christmas! Or, happy holidays!

*SIGH* Yet another year filled with happiness and sadness. How could I have been so naive to believe the family can be a 'family' again after so many fights. Looking at my last blog entry... It didn't get better. And I wasn't feeling as great as I believed. Only one or two weeks later more conflicts rose up. Not all of them have been solved yet. What kind of conflicts? Doesn't matter. A conflict is a conflict. A conflict usually makes you feel depressed, or lonely, or bad, or whatever. Thank God I was able to forget the conflicts from time to time. School was keeping me busy or I tried to concentrate on books or video games. It worked very well. I cheered up during that moments.

I cheered up, but I didn't do things I had to do. I kept on checking my emails, but I never answered them. I didn't update my websites either. I was always too lazy to do so. There is no excuse, it just was wrong. I really AM sorry, but I can't beg to be forgiven. The next important step I will have to do now is to close down a few sites. Including the TCG Breeze. I never thought I'd have to close it before 2005. It was so great to run a semi-successful TCG site. I still love it very much, because I know that others enjoyed playing at Breeze. They will be very disappointed. I disappointed myself, too. I know the joys of playing at TCGs. And I wish I didn't have to close the site. But I can't keep it on hiatus forever. Don't know what to write into the Goodbye message yet... I guess I'll keep it short, I don't want to give long explanations.

Heh, I should stop writing about things that sadden me now. I want to cheer up again... Lol. First thing that popped up in my mind was a good book. The Last Dragonlord by Joanne Bertin. A great book which I got last year. I enjoyed re-reading the fantasy story. I love fantasy stories. - Oi, I continued playing Legend of Zelda - Ocarina of Time, Master Quest. I actually managed to get past the 3rd and 4th dungeons. But now I'm stuck in the 5th dungeon! I've been running around, solving the same problems over and over again, and still didn't advance. Damn! What did I miss? XD

Ah well, I took a break from Zelda then and went back to Ragnarok Online (thanks to my brother). And guess what? I got totally addicted to the game... gah!! x_x My Priestess is a High Priestess by now (Priest, lvl 99 -> change back to Novice -> *leveling up* -> High Priest with more skills than Priest). I won't explain details about RO... if you know the game, you'll know what I'm babbling about. If you don't know the game, err... sowwies. ^^; ...it's strange. When I dive into the RO world, I have so much fun with my friends (most of the time). And now I'm trying to type something about the 'fun' and I don't know what to type. =/ Well, I managed to stay guild-less till High Priest lvl 70+. I wasn't going to join a Guild, because I wasn't interested into War of Emperium (WoE) at all. WoE means Player vs. Player (PvP) and I dislike PvP. XD; I suck at serious PvP situations. In WoE, your guild tries to take over/hold one castle (or more). So the guilds fight against each other. My fiancee's guild was holding a castle when some of them tried to persuade me to join the guild. XD The castle's dungeon was full of undead type monsters. And Undead are THE source of levels for supporter priests. I couldn't resist and joined the guild because of the dungeon then... We lost the castle shortly after that, though. WoE is currently in testing on the server and there have been several castle/guild wipes. But I grew to like the guildmates a lot. AND I love the DB parties with them. XD There are still 3 MVPs missing on my "killed with party" list: Baphomet (BLEH! SO many MVPs, but no Bapho yet!), Orc Lord (eh, I don't really care) and Incantation Samurai (BLEH! x2). Don't worry, sweeties, I WILL get you... >.<

There have been special Christmas Porings around on every map during Christmas time. They dropped Gift Boxes which could be opened on and after Christmas day. And there have been two rollbacks because the presents messed up the economy/cheaters messed up the economy. I wasn't online during the first rollback. When I logged on, I just heard the others complaining. I opened my presents and only got junk. =/ The next day, there was another rollback and I had to open the presents again. More of my guildmates' complaints. xD Well, they were sad because of the lost items, but some of them were glad about the new good items, too. I personally liked the rollback. ^^ The items I got afterwards were WAY better. Some of the good drops: Romantic Leaf (still wanna get the Romantic Flower, though), Geek Glasses (OMG I have to post screenshots, they look hilarious XD), Slotted Tights. Not really great drops compared to the uber lucky players, but hey. I'm glad I got them. Okies, right, I'll have to take more screenshots to show you!

Wow, babbling about RO made me cheer up. Kinda pathetic, isn't it. O.o

~Ayumi, Termschen and Thao, thank you very much for not forgetting me~

::Music:: Silent Hill 4 - Mary Elizabeth McGlynn - Room of Angel

Thursday, October 28, 2004      12:02 a.m.



::Music:: Ragnarok Online - Prontera theme

OMG, OMG, OMG, OH MY GAWD!!! It's a blogging entry! It's a blogging entry! ^___^ It's been ages~! The last entry was in September... and it's almost November now! @_@ Man, I'm good!

Guess I should explain a few things, huh? @,@ Well, there isn't much... really... the main reason for being away was school... then there was also my friggin' comp... and then I was playing Ragnarok Online on my brother's comp while my dad tried to fix my comp... and there were some personal issues... bah. >.< It was a darn hard time, but I think I'm fine now. All those fights in the family have ended by now and it's kinda peaceful again... Not perfect, but I don't feel too bad anymore. Anyway, I feel much better than a week ago.

But, let's blog about things I really like! =D Mhmmm... Ayumi! Kamoi! Lisa! Lycraze! Metta! Moon X! Shiroi! Spector! Termschn! Thao! I heart all of you! *_* Just was in the mood for heart-ing (hope I didn't miss any other important internet friend... x.x;). You made me feel better during the past few weeks, thanks so much!

Okay, I'll talk about Ragnarok Online first. Well, when my brother wasn't around, I played RO on his computer. I've become quite addicted to the game. ^_^; It's addictive because of the people you meet there... not because of leveling up and killing monsters and leveling up and killing monsters... That's just dumb. But you meet people who'll become your friends and that's the great part. ^_^ I always enjoy running around with them. Hehe, I even got to know several German persons. x3 But, of course, you'll also meet a bunch of idiots. If you're playing a priest, other players will always ask for buffs and heals. (Uh, how to explain buffs... one kind of 'buff' would be a Blessing. It ups some stats for a while. ^^; Or Agility Up, makes you move faster.) And there was one guy who really pissed me off. <_< Asked me "heal plzzz" ('plzzz'... it's uber hard for a number of players to write 'please' properly <___<;), I answered "plzz = priests love zeny zeny zeny... :P" ('zeny' is the money in RO), he then "ok" and "krah is stupped ass" (Krah is my priest's name) and "i fuck you". @_@ OMG WTF!!11one1eleven Really, really pissed me off at first. But well, he gets his ass kicked by my friends in PvP (Player vs. Player) all the time! >XD Looser! Lol, that's my favourite 'looser story.' xD;

Something else now. Hm, I still have to do many things for my TCG Breeze. I haven't updated in a month. ^^; But I love it. I'm looking for more staff members right now. If everything goes well, I might be able to update soon. :3 Some weeks ago, Ayumi sent me a very interesting link to a new TCG. It was a Yu-Gi-Oh TCG and guess what? It used MY cards template. =.= Wargh! That's... just... dumb. I was going to email both the TCG Owner and the hoster about this when I got the time to. But seems like the site went offline before I could do anything. I've done a Google search (XD), but no results. Good for the TCG Owner. <_< Copying my template... bwah, as if noone would notice. @_@ Thanks for letting me know about that site, Ayumi. Too bad I couldn't get to flame at the owner. Breeze's member count has reached 60+. It's making me feel good. ^_^ And, it's making me want to spent even more time in developing the site. Nya, my problem: I cannot code in php yet (would make managing the site MUCH easier), and I don't know a good host that allows php. Though, php is not really a problem, I could learn it by trial and error over some time... I think. xD But the host... I don't like to apply at a site which offers free hosting. 1. A TCG requires more than a few MB and some bandwidth. 2. Most sites that offer hosting require the hostee to stay in contact with the hoster (and other hostees). I know that I couldn't manage to stay in contact with the hoster. I'd be too lazy. =.=; I know some free hosting sites which allow php, but they don't allow FTP. Bwaaa~ @_@ *continues searching*

I've just watched The Ring 4, the original Japanese version (with subtitles xD;). Not scary, but a great movie... And a great conclusion to the Ring series. T~T Makes you think about life and what's right or wrong, good or bad. Shall I say something about the movie? Well, a character had to choose: safe the world or get his dead son back. It's a common theme in movies, huh. But the way the story was told was awesome. It clearly showed the weakness of human beings. If I had to choose, I would have chosen to get back the person I loved... I wouldn't be strong enough to choose the 'right' thing...

Phew, a whole entry in English. XD I hope there aren't too many mistakes! ^_^;

::Music:: Kajiura Yuki - Emily Bindiger - Fiction